Beautiful Is Not Enough...

Heh, "beautiful" was never a word that I used to describe a man. But, for Clay, it is my adjective of choice. I never tire of looking at pictures and videos of him. Words just don't do him justice though when trying to describe...the crinkled skin around his eyes, the sometimes catlike shape of his eyes when he smirks, the sparkle within his eyes, the hooded lids, the cut of his cheekbones, the shadows that play so beautifully upon his face, the sprinkle of freckles, the subtle stubble, the bow of his upper lip, the full plump pout of his lower lip, the proud strong chin, the glorious straining neck...yup, even descriptions like these don't adequately convey what I see. But, since I can't really describe his beauty...I'll show you instead... DO NOT MISS this video. Seriously. It was Lacy's first attempt at videoing Clay and she did a phenomenal job. What can't be captured with words was certainly captured with her camera. Just beautiful.

~Video by Lacy (Interlochen JukeBox Tour)

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Humanity and Horror

I recently got back from a family vacation in Washington D.C. While there, we did the usual historical sightseeing things...the Smithsonians, the White House, the Capital, the monuments. We also went to Arlington National Cemetary and the Holocaust Museum.

I had been to Arlington National Cemetary before and remembered it as one of my favorite places to visit in DC. When telling my 11 year old son about it, he found it strange that it would be a favorite place to visit...being a cemetary and all. But there is just something peaceful to me there even though many of the dead are as a result of man's brutality to man. Walking amongst the white gravestones, reading the captions, looking at the rolling hills, and glimpsing the monuments of DC in the distance just fills me with peace and even hope. I don't know why, it's just how it is. It fills me with gratitude for those who fought to preserve my way of life, for those who showed a bravery that I can't imagine, for those who died with so much living still to do.

The Holocaust Museum, on the other hand, was not something that could be "enjoyed" in any way; but, instead, something that I felt a need to experience. It was horrific. But, I needed to see it and have my kids see it. I wanted them to know that there are people out there who are able to do such horrendous things to other people. That there are people who exist who feel no regret or responsibility for their actions. That there are people who can treat another human being with depravity and degradation. I know they won't understand it, because I certainly can't, but they needed to know that it exists.

When we left the Holocaust Museum, we were like "now what?" What do we do now...get an ice cream? Enjoy the beautiful weather? Traipse through another museum looking at ladies' ballgowns? Suddenly, things seemed rather inconsequential. Yet, we did exactly that. Because those of us here must continue to live, to experience, to enjoy what life has to offer. Yet, we can still remember, and be aware, and strive to prevent future atrocities.

When I think of the "bad" in the world, I always end up thinking of the "good". Maybe it's self defense, maybe it's denial, I like to think of it as hope...

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Fire & Fear

I've always had a fear of fire. Now, I would guess that it is probably normal for most people to fear fire, but my fear was somewhat more than "normal" (I think). I don't really remember when it began, but one of my clearest memories of the "fear" was when I was 8 years old. We lived in a home in Boston...in the inner city. The houses were mainly what we called triple decker houses (3 apartments, 1 per floor). Ours happened to be a single story home, but we had a triple decker right next to us. I went to bed (the bedrooms were on the second floor). My parents and grandma were still up watching tv and my aunt and her friend were also visiting. Shortly thereafter, my mom came running upstairs and told me there was a fire next door. As I came down the stairs I could see smoke coming in through the corner of the ceiling in the living room. We all went outside. When I got outside, I realized I had left my "Lambie" (a stuffed lamb that played Brahm's Lullaby) back up in the bedroom. After seeing me burst into tears, my aunt went back to retrieve my lamb *g*. Luckily, our house turned out to be fine, other than smelling smoky. My father opened a bottle of Galiano afterwards and gave everyone a drink (even I got a sip)...then Lambie and I went to bed.

Anyway, my fear of fire has always expressed itself by my storing the things most important to me close to my bed-those things that I would want to grab first (other than people) if a fire ever occurred. Back as a child and even a teen, it was Lambie. After my mom died and as a young married adult, it was pictures...irreplaceable photo albums of family and my wedding pictures. As a young mom, it turned into pictures and videos of my children. Now, it is my clack(Clay Aiken memorabilia)...magazines, videos, cds, dvds, MY COMPUTER, and external hard drives. *sigh*. The list is far too long. Now, I lay awake wondering if a pillow case would be big enough to dump all of the stuff in for me to haul out the window. Heh, who am I kidding? I'd need at least 5 pillow cases. Oh, and Lambie still sits on my night table.

Here are some pictures of my most prized clack, an autographed "In Tune" magazine. "Most prized" because I can not replace it and because of the memories of the Meet & Greet where I obtained it. Hey, look at it this way...at least I'm not posting a picture of Lambie. Unless you really want one that is *g*...

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Worth the Risk...

I've never been a risk taker...not physically or financially. I'm a chicken. I would never jump out of a plane, go bungee jumping, or scuba diving. What little money I have is invested in safe (as in "so little interest it's barely there") mutual funds. I would never desire to own my own business, I'd rather someone else pay me and take care of my benefits. I sometimes envy those who are willing to take risks. I do feel that to achieve a lot or to live life to the fullest...risk-taking is necessary. But, I guess I'm content to be a middle achiever and live life enough, while staying "safe".

My 11 year old son went on vacation this week with his best friend. During the vacation, my son went parasailing. When he called me on the phone to tell me he "did something really special", I held my breath. When I found out that he had been floating 400 feet above the ocean, all I could think of was "thank God he didn't tell me until it was over". I surely would have said "no". From the sound of his voice, I can tell it was an experience he will always remember. I'm glad he'll have that memory. My 13 year old daughter is a gymnast. She does things on the beam and bars that send chills through me at the mere thought of duplicating the process. Heck, I could never even do a cartwheel... She soldiers on, even when afraid. She is a "do-er", ready to try most anything. No amusement ride has ever gotten the best of my kids *g*. I hope they continue to take risks, to achieve, IF that continues to make them happy. Otherwise, they can be like me, satisified to just "be", that'll work too.

I think that Clay is a risk taker. How else would you explain his career/life moves: auditioning again for AI2 in Atlanta after being cut in Charlotte, pushing for a return as a wildcard contestant, "Grease", scrapping the TITN video, fighting to get his cd named Measure of a Man, standing up for his vision for The Way video, the JBT (a concert of "covers"), the JNT05 and it's vignettes, forging ahead despite those who mock or jeer him, the new "do" *g*. I'm dying to see the future risks that he will take...I have no doubt that there will be many more.

I'll be watching those risk takers (my kids and Clay) from my safe little corner of the couch...confident that all of their dreams will come true.

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Storytellers

I've always enjoyed a good story. And listening to one in song is no exception. James Taylor is a fine storyteller through music and lyrics. I didn't really listen much to James as a teen or young adult, but as I got a bit older, his music began to appeal to me more. Clay Aiken seems to appreciate James Taylor and has incorporated Taylor songs into his tours. Clay also has the beginnings of being a wonderful storyteller. He sings to you, not at you. He brings you into his story. Here are a couple of videos, one of James Taylor singing Sweet Baby James and one of Clay Aiken singing Sweet Baby James. Each different, each beautiful. Enjoy.

James Taylor - Sweet Baby James...


Clay Aiken - Sweet Baby James...

~video by Spotlightlover

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The Dichotomy of Clay

Sweet, yet snarky. Kind, yet possessing a rapier wit. Humble, yet confident. Modest, yet supremely sensual. Fun-loving, yet intense. These contrasts are part of the mystery of Clay, they are delightful, yet deadly. One moment he can make you laugh out loud, while the next moment you are awash in his sensuality. One moment he can have you "ooohing" and "ahhhing" over a sweet remark, while the next moment you must look away from the intensity in his eyes. How does he do this? It is a part of the magic of Clay. It is his allure. His IT. The quality that makes him a STAR. Not many have it, Clay has it in spades. It is in his demeanor, his eyes, his expressive hands, his stance, his personality, and most especially...in his voice.

Here are some videos that show the many sides of Clay...

Beautiful Clay...singing Unchained Melody


Naughty Clay...singing When Doves Cry


Angry Clay...singing I Survived You


Fun Clay...singing Can't Buy Me Love


Intense Clay...singing A Thousand Days


And, some pictures too...

Beautiful Clay...

Naughty Clay...

Angry Clay...

Fun Clay...

Intense Clay...

Seems that I never mentioned HOT in the captions of those above pictures or videos. Well, that was intentional, because Clay is always scorchingly HOT to me, no matter what side of his personality is shining at any particular moment. His inate sensuality is just something, that for me, can't be denied...

I think that his new "look" appeals to me so very much because it expresses one of the dichotomies of Clay. He looks adorably sweet, yet naughty. And, I love it...

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Yummy!

I haven't been able to think of anything to blog about for the past couple of days, because I've been consumed... Consumed with analyzing the most recent appearance of Clay Aiken. For those who don't know (are there really people who don't know?), Clay made an appearance on the finale of American Idol 5 Wednesday night. He sang Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me and he had a new (and might I add, very hot) look. Yup, the spiky do is gone and in it's place is a shiny, shaggy , brown, longer do. I LOVE IT. He now has this irresistable combination of adorable and sexy that just kills me. He sauntered out onto that stage so confidently, sang so beautifully, and was so kind to the Clay wanna-be. Who can resist an adorable, sexy, confident, kind man who can sing with a voice that pierces you? Not me. Yup, as the saying goes...resistance is futile. I look at Clay and I just smile. I don't even realize it's happening, I just know it's there. My kids laugh at me and tell me I have "the Sponge Bob face" again. What can I say? Clay sings with JOY...it just pours out of him...and into me. Yum.

Joyful Clay...


HOT Clay...


Exotic Clay...


Look at those sparkly green eyes...


The entire performance...

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